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Tope works down the hall from me, and I'd started fantasising about her about five minutes after she joined our agency a few months ago. The sleeveless blouses and tailored slacks she wore to work were just the start of her appeal. Her bosoms looked full and heavy, and no other mother of three – including my wife – ever had a tighter looking ass. She had a tiny, barely noticeable scar at the corner of her lip that made her mouth look like it was begging to be kissed. She wore her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, and sometimes a stray lock would fall across her forehead, and it was all you could do not to reach up and brush it back for her. Tope had to cross my door to get to that of Titilayo, her team leader on a crucial pitch we were about to make. After a while, I think she noticed that I always got up immediately, stood in my doorway and watched that lovely behind of hers as she moved briskly down the hall. In any event, even if she didn't consciously notice, I began to realize that she made a point of pausing to speaking to the intern just outside my door whenever she walked by. Alerted to Tope's presence, I would station myself just inside my own doorway to catch a glimpse. More and more often, she would look up and give me the tiniest of smiles before breezing along her way. Was I imagining things, or did she seem to move a little more languorously and sensually these days? Was there a little extra sway in those hips meant for me? This went on for several weeks, until one fateful office happy hour. It's amazing how a couple of drinks can loosen someone up and make them a little forgetful about certain obligations. Between us, Tope and I had 18 years of marriage under our belts. Well, 23 if you counted my first one to go with the five years I had this go 'round. I also had two stepchildren and a three-year-old daughter to complete the package. Tope was working on a lucky 13 years with an English professor in Lagos state university, and when you entered her office; pictures of her three girls adorned the wall behind her desk. Even so, with the subtle attention we'd been giving each other already, it was a short trip to outright flirting when bourbon fever kicked in. Of course, the chances of spontaneous Intimate combustion aren't real high on a Tuesday night when there are kids and homework waiting at home. The next morning, though, the flirting continued, and over the last few weeks, it's proceeded from there. From glances full of active curiosity, to standing a bit too close in the elevator, to letting our arms very, very carefully brush together while looking over a marketing plan draft, there's been a slow burn that's enjoyable just for its own sake. At the same time, our conversation has gone from polite hellos to leaning into each other's offices for a few minutes of casual conversation. When it was clear that neither of us was likely to file a sexual harassment suit against the other, a few double entendres found their way into our interactions. Two weeks ago, things escalated a little more. I'm notorious for my potty mouth. Other work settings are different, I know, but in the loose, creative atmosphere of an advertising agency, you can get away with a lot, and I admit to being downright vulgar at times. Several of my co-workers credit me with the invention of the term "bleeping fucker," but I'm pretty sure I actually heard it somewhere else first. That notwithstanding, I don't hesitate to let a "Jesus-bleeping-Christ, that's the stupidest motherfucking-asshole-dumbass-NaughtyPerson I've ever met," fly if the occasion warrants it. To my delight, I found out that Tope was something of an artist in profanity herself. A tirade like the above had exploded in conference room full of equally irate copywriters, art directors and producers when our latest pitch to a floundering client had been shot down. It continued with just Tope and I in my office as we went back to the brainstorming board. Since we were both still cussing up a storm, Tope closed the door behind us and flopped down in my guest chair. "Tope, I have to tell you, that kind of talk is frankly quite shocking," I said in mock indignation. "Stuff it, fucker, I know it turns you on," she retorted, we both broke out in giggles worthy of my thirteen-year-old stepdaughter and friends. "Turned on? I'm turned on, she says, and meanwhile I see her Tips poking through her shirt like a couple of walnuts," I snickered. "You don't want to go bringing up nuts of any sort, buster, with that bulge staring me in the face," she snorted, pointing at the very visible hard-on that was, in fact, at her eye level as I leaned back against my desk. We kept this up playfully for a few more minutes before actually getting back to work, but from that moment on, dirty talk between – in private, via text message, on the phone, even late at night at home through instant messaging – is not only tolerated, it's encouraged and one-upped and then pushed some more. All that being said, Tope's been rather adamant that flirting, talking dirty and sharing fantasies is as far as this is going. That's been fine by me – one divorce is enough to last me a lifetime. More than anything, we both admit, our little oral affair has added fuel to pretty damn fiery se*x lives at home. Most guys don't even count it as officially getting laid until you've told your buddy about it and the fact that my buddy was now a gorgeous 36-year- old wife and mother with a body like co-ed, an intellect like a physics professor and a a mouth like a sailor was just icing on the cake. I told Tope about how good my wife looked when she sucked my rooster in the shower the other morning; she told me riding her husband's face and licking her own juices off his chin and forehead; she picked out lingerie for my wife on Victoria's Secret online, and dictated more and more of the outrageous text messages she was sending to her husband while he worked. With that in mind, I picked up the phone just after lunch this afternoon and dialed Tope's extension. "What now," she answered huffily and then chuckled. "What's going through that dirty mind of yours, bad boy?" "Not nearly what I wish was going through my pants – namely your hands," I said. "That's a stretch even for you, darling. We're going to have work on your spontaneous s*xy** replies," she said. "Maybe so," I replied. "But the reason I really called is to find out what your plans are to shock He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named later?" "Lingerie." "Something new?" I asked, perking up. "Something he hasn't seen yet," said Tope. "And, much to my chagrin, neither have I," I sighed. This got another chuckle. "And you won't anytime soon," said my partner in witty repartee. "Soon? That implies that at some point, your panties will be mine!" "Dream on, lover," she replied. "So just what are you going to do with this lingerie for the lucky boy?" "Before he leaves for his conference tomorrow, I'm going to put my sexiest panties in his briefcase…" This elicited the usual intelligent reply from me: "Mmmmm." "…and when he lands in Abuja, his Blackberry will chirp right away with the message that says I'm not going to wear any until he gets back next week – but that I packed a few dirty ones in his suitcase for him to stroke his rooster with." "I like it, Tope." "Knew you would, bad boy, just like my husband will," Tope said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "I especially like the thought that after that he'll have to deal with a hard-on in a room full of other academias for the rest of the day." "I have a hard-on-in-the-office problem myself," I told her. "Why's that," she said, almost shyly. "Is there a particular workmate who causes it?" "Just some new bimbo," I laughed. "Bimbo! That's it, I'm hanging up." But she didn't and then laughed with me. "Send him a text now. Tell him you're rubbing yourself under your desk." "I like it. Then what?" "Imagine me there…under your desk…touching and licking." "You're so naughty," but I knew she'd be doing it soon. "I try to be," I said smarmily. "It's working." "Good. When you have the picture in your mind, reach down under your desk. Rub yourself through your clothes." I heard her suck in her breath sharply, and I knew she'd started. "I'm walking down," I said, and hung up before she could protest. By the time I got to her office, she'd zipped up and, though looking a bit flushed, was composed and professional. She grinned and told me to close the door. "Yes, madam." She suddenly looked a little serious. "Titilayo or someone is going to catch us if we keep this up," she said. "Caught at what?" I smiled and crossed to her desk. Resting on the edge, my crotch was just a couple of feet from her face as she remained seated. "What am I going to do with you," she grinned. "Whatever you can think of," I said, wiggling my eyebrows in my lousy cocky impression. "That sounds like it might be fun," she said. "Could be very fun," I said, and offered her my hand. She took it and stood, and with my knees parted slightly she had no choice but to position herself between them. She did, however, remain a good three feet away. "But no kissing," I chuckled, repeating the first law she laid down to me. "You like kisses." It was a statement, not a question, and I saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. "Yes, I do, Tope. Do you like kisses?" "Yes," she said, very quietly, dropping her gaze from mine. Taking a chance, I cupped her face and turned it upward, at the same time pulling her forward. "What are we up to, Tope?" "Well, I'm trying to get out of here to meet my kids before the school bus dumps them by the front door," she said, still not pulling away. I leaned in and whispered in her hear, knowing my breath was tickling her. "Ahhh, I see. How about a kiss before you go?" She hesitated for a second, and then thrilled me by saying it. "Okay – one kiss." I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight enough for her to feel how hard I was. "That feels nice," Tope whispered. "So will this," and I began to kiss her neck, her ears, her throat. I ran my hands up and down her back. Her lips parted slightly, but before she could speak, I pulled her even tighter and covered her mouth with mine. She shivered and began to rock slightly against my Attention. She broke the kiss, but only to nibble my neck and earlobe, and I squeezed and kneaded the delectable ass that had first caught my eye. Our mouths collided again in a hungry, open- mouth kiss. Our tongues were dueling, sliding in and out of each other's mouths, our breath ragged and coming in gasps. With one hand still caressing her ass, I tangled the other in her hair. It's a tired cliche, but I locked onto her mouth like a drowning man holds on to a life preserver. "I'm in trouble – I'm on fire," Tope whispered fiercely. "And you have to go," I said and again covered her mouth with mine to block her answer. The kiss lingered, but when it broke we were both smiling. "Go, Tope," I said. "Be good." "How?" She laughed and pushed me away. She pulled me close again, though, and I could see fire in her eyes as she stared up at me. "See you tomorrow, Tope." "I know – and that's the problem. I'll be stuck here playing teasing games with you, and I won't be getting any at home for the next seven days." But she was still smiling as she watched me back toward the door and out of her office. The real problem, though, was the call I got when I settled back in behind my desk. My wife's mobile came up on the caller ID. "Hey, babe, what's up," I answered. "Just wanted to remind you that I'm taking the kids to the beach for the weekend tomorrow." That's when it hit me. Tope's husband gone for a week. Me alone for the weekend – because Tope and I were working this weekend. With probably no one else in the office…

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It has been learnt that Stephen Keshi will have to tender an unreserved apology to the members of the Nigeria Football Federation before he will sign the new contract and be accepted as the substantive coach of the Super Eagles.

The executive members of the Federation met in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State last Wednesday before the Eagles played a friendly game against Uganda and agreed to give Keshi a new two-year deal but with a condition that he apologises to the executive committee for
insubordination.

A top official of the NFF told Africanfootball.com , "Keshi has been told he has the job, but first he must apologise for what was regarded as gross insubordination over time.
"That explains why he will sign a code of conduct."

There has been a frosty relationship between employer and employee. Their misunderstanding started before the 2013 Africa Cup of Nations finals and it got to the boiling point during the final round in South Africa and the post-competition events. In a show of disagreement with the NFF, Keshi 'resigned' his appointment on air via a South Africa radio station. A new board has been in place since last September but that has not made any difference as the spat continued publicly even while both sides negotiated the new contract.
Apart from Keshi, it has also been learnt that the other national team coaches have also been ordered to refrain from discussing with the media matters outside their technical work, ranging from salaries and other administrative issues. The letters to all serving national team coaches were sent out earlier in March.
Stephen Keshi will sign the deal soon after the
Easter Holidays.
Yhemmie_blaq

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Fabregas says it is wrong to say that he has been dropped by Spain, arguing that he has never had an "undisputed" place in the starting line-up.
The versatile midfielder has been in fine form for Chelsea this season, playing a key role in the Blues' Premier League title bid, but he was left on the bench for all 90 minutes of Friday's Euro 2016 qualifying win over Ukraine in
Sevilla.
Although, Fabregas insists that he was neither surprised nor offended by Vicente Del Bosque's decision to leave him out.
"I do not think I've lost my place in the team because I've never been undisputed," he told reporters on Monday. " The important thing is to play well if I'm selected.
"Besides, I'm sure that whoever is picked will do well. I have no doubt about that. I always support my team-mates.
"Every player likes to have continuity and I am no different. But sometimes you don't get in because the coach decides that someone is better than you.
"I do not think that anything has happened to the national side," the former Barcelona ace added on the eve of the friendly with Netherlands. It is just a young team that has yet to mature and gain a little experience.
Yhemmie_blaq

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David Alaba has been ruled out for the next seven weeks with a medial ligament tear in his left knee, Bayern Munich have confirmed.
The 22-year-old full-back was withdrawn at half-time in Austria's 1-1 friendly draw with Bosnia-Herzegovina following a collision with Hoffenheim's Ermin Bicakcic.

In the wake of the match, Alaba said that he could barely walk and the Bavarians stated that he would undergo tests upon his return to
Munich.
And their worst fears have now been confirmed, with Alaba set to spend a fortnight in a cast before returning to action at the end of
May.
Yhemmie_blaq

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George had said in an interview that he would proceed on exile if the APC wins at the federal level.
Speaking with Vanguard, on the PDP's defeat at the polls, the PDP chieftain said "What will I be doing here? I can decide to go and live anywhere. Look at everyone surrounding him (Buhari).
"So, I am not joking about it, what will I be doing here? At 70, what will I be doing here? All we have been doing to restructure the country has been lost. We have been trying to ensure balance in the polity but all that has gone. What else will I be doing here?"‎

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Former Niger Delta Affairs Minister Elder Godsday Orubebe last night apologised for his during the release of elections results in Abuja. He regretted that he allowed his emotion to betray him.
He pleaded with Niger Delta youths not to perpetrate violence because of the election of Gen. Muhammadu Buhari.

Orubebe, who held up proceedings for about 30 minutes, told reporters in Abuja: "Election is a passionate thing and I really regret what took place this morning. I was unnecessarily pushed by Jega to get to that level.‎
"I want to apologise particularly to young Nigerians that look up to take politics as a career to say that what happened was not intended to cause them any embarrassment.
"To Nigerians generally, I regret my actions as even an elder in the church, and a leader, the young men expected to see a lot from me and I believe that if there was any disappointment they got from me I apologise to Nigerians and to the youths of this country."

A sober Orubebe asked Niger Delta youths not to take the laws into their hands on the outcome of the Presidential Election.
"We have always talked about peace in this country and remember that when there was crisis in the Niger Delta, I was one of the architects that sacrificed to got the creeks to tell the militants that we need peace in this country alongside President Goodluck Jonathan."

On President Goodluck Jonathan's sportsmanship attitude, he said: "Two things are in place. The president is the president of everybody. As a statesman and as a president; he has done what he should do."

On how the PDP will take the defeat, Orubebe said: "I cannot decide for the PDP. It is a large family. We were sent on an errand to come back to report. We will go and report to the party and the party will take the necessary action it has to take.
"You remember what happened in Ekiti's governorship election when the governor congratulated his opponent and the party went back and said this is what they have seen. The candidate is not the party, he is a candidate and he has acted very well as a statesman, and as the president, the father of all. For us, we are agents to be here to see what transpired here and give report to them."

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As the election result trickled in and it became evident that President Goodluck Jonathan had lost, his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, yesterday commenced the process of moving out of the presidential villa.

A Presidency source said she summoned her domestic staff and ordered them to pack her personal belongings in readiness for the change of guard.‎
"By 6pm, the truck had made two trips", the source reported.
It is, however, unknown where the First Lady's property were transported to.

Mrs Jonathan was very visible at the presidential rallies and made vile comments about the president-elect and his party.

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Uneasy calm yesterday, pervaded Yenagoa, the Bayelsa State capital and its environs, as the results of the presidential election were announced by the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC, showing the opposition All Progressives Congress, APC,  candidate, Gen Muhammadu Buhari in clear lead.
‎
Most of the commercial banks shut their doors to customers at midday as the final results of the election were announced.
The move, it was learned, was a safety measure against likely attack in case of outbreak of violence over the outcome of the election.
A source in one of the banks said: "It was a precautionary measure taken due to the tension in the air over the outcome of the presidential poll. We have since closed for the day but we will open for business in the morning."
Also, Youth Corps members have expressed concern over the development, especially with the text message allegedly from the authorities of the NYSC being circulated, urging them to vacate their lodge or relocate to military barracks close to them as well as not to put on their uniforms in public for fear of attack after the announcement of the presidential results.
Meantime, the prospect of President Goodluck Jonathan leaving the Aso Rock Villa on May 29 has soberred thousands of Bayelsans, who had believed he would be given the chance of a second term.
All over Yenagoa, anxious Bayelsans were glued to television sets at home and in public places watching with keen interest as the developments unfolded in Abuja.
But Police spokesman in the state, Asinim Butswat, said there was no cause for alarm.
He said on phone that though some non-indigenes had left, "We do not encourage anybody to leave."
Butswat assured that the Police were at alert to deal with any trouble maker.

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Former military head of state and presidential candidate of the All Progressive Congress has won Nigeria's presidential elections.

Katsina born Muhammadu Buhari, who contested for the position for the fourth time after making alliances with other opposition figures, polled 15,424,921 votes  as against incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan of the Peoples democratic Party who scored 12,853,162 votes.

The President-elect, a Head of State between 1984 and August 1985, won the contest in 21 states of the federation, leaving Jonathan with victories in 15 states and the Federal Capital Territory.

Buhari won the election in 16 northern states and five south western states while Jonathan won the poll in three northern states, the FCT and 12 South-South and South-East states.

The highest number of votes was recorded in Kano, where Buhari scored 1,903,999 votes while Jonathan recorded his biggest victory was in Rivers, garnering 1,487,075 votes in the state.

Buhari would be sworn in on May 29 which marks the country's 16years of democracy.

 

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The Ijesha North Diocese of the Methodist Church of Nigeria has tasked Governor Rauf Aregbesola to pay up the salaries of Osun State workers.
The church said this in a communique issued at the end of its synod, a copy of which was made available to our correspondent in Osogbo on Tuesday.
The communique was jointly signed by the Bishop of Ijesha North Diocese, Rt. Rev. Isaac Osunjuyigbe; Synod Secretary, Rev. Ade Abiodun; and the Lay president, Mr. Ade Adeyemi.
The church also called on the governor to ensure the payment of retirees whose pensions had not been paid for some months.
It, however, commended the governor for some of the achievements of his administration and urged him to step up efforts in that direction.

The communique read in part, "The synod wished that the state government should look into the payment of her workers' salaries and retirees' pensions as at when due in order to save their dependants from untold hardship and untimely death."

The church said that it was not good to leave the workers without paying them their salaries for months.
It called on the governor to urgently find a way of paying the workers, saying the non-payment of their salaries had brought untold hardship to many families.

According to the Methodist Church, the situation is also affecting the economy of the state because artisans and market women are now recording very low patronage due to the non-payment of the workers' salaries.
The church commended the recapturing of some territories by the military from Boko Haram insurgents in the ongoing onslaught against them.
It, however, said that the tempo should be sustained in order to keep the people of the affected areas safe, because the insurgents had killed and destroyed the means of livelihood of many.

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Benue State Governor, Gabriel Suswam
The Benue State Governor, Mr. Gabriel Suswam, has rejected the votes declared in favour of Senator Barnabas Gemade as the winner of the Benue Zone 'A' Senatorial District election.

The governor, in his formal reaction to Gemade's victory in Makurdi on Tuesday, called for the cancellation of some wards in places like Logo, Ukum as well as other parts of Konshisha and Vandeikya Local Government Areas of the state.

The Returning Officer for the zone, Prof. Mohammed Adah, had on Monday night, returned Gemade, an All Progressives Congress senator, as the winner of Saturday's election, having polled 140,715 votes.

He said Suswam, a sitting Peoples Democratic Party governor, scored 118,608 votes to lose in his ambition to occupy the senate seat.
But, the governor complained that "irregularities" marred the poll, including alleged use of "armed persons" to harass voters in several wards.
He also alleged that armed persons attacked electoral officers and confiscated results from them.
Suswam added that some of the results declared in favour of Gemade were "mutilated and inflated figures" that were awarded to his opponent.
The governor, who spoke with journalists, stated that in areas considered to be his stronghold, INEC cancelled the results for reasons he could not comprehend.

He accused the Resident Electoral Commissioner in the state, Prof. Istifanus Dafwang, of colluding with his opponent to deny him victory.
Suswam said in spite of assuring all the parties that he would not announce the contested results, Dafwang went ahead to award victory to Gemade without further recourse to his agents.
"I requested that the results be cancelled because the number that voted was more than the number accredited.

Suswam, said he no longer had confidence in Dafwang
But, Dafwang dismissed the complaints of Suswam and his agents, saying that INEC applied its elections guidelines and rules in declaring results.
He described Benue as an "unnecessarily volatile" area where people often see elections as a do or die affair.
Dafwang said his staff went through life-threatening situations to conduct elections in the state.

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SUSPECTED political thugs on Tuesday attacked supporters of the All Progressives Congress in Idanre, in the Idanre Local Government Area of Ondo State.
Our correspondent learnt that the thugs, said to be sympathetic to the Peoples Democratic Party, attacked a section of the Idanre community for voting for the APC candidates in the elections held on Saturday.
The situation led to anxiety in the community with fears of reprisals and escalation of the crisis across the state.

Publicity Secretary of the APC, Omo'oba Adesanya, said the party's supporters were also attacked and injured in some parts of the Odigbo Local Government Area of the state.
Adesanya said the party had prevailed on its members not to retaliate but to remain calm while the issues were being resolved by appropriate authorities.

But PDP's Director of the Publicity, Ayodele Fadaka, said he was not aware of the matter and so would not be able to comment on it.
A government source told our correspondent that Governor Olusegun Mimiko, on receiving the information about situation in Idanre, had called the Ondo State Commissioner of Police, Isaac Eke, who immediately sent his men to the area to forestall further breach of the peace.‎
As of the time of filing this report, officials of the Ondo State Government were holding a crucial meeting with leaders of the political parties and the leaders of the communities affected in a bid to douse the tension.

The Police Public Relations Officer in the state, Wole Ogodo, confirmed the development at Idanre but that the situation had been brought under control.
Ogodo, who was reluctant to give the details of the incident, said, "Idanre is calm and peaceful right now. Our men were immediately drafted to the place and no one was injured and no life was lost."

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The  Peoples Democratic Party has said it will challenge the outcome of the March 28 presidential election.
The Independent National Electoral Commission, through its Chairman and Chief Returning Officer, Prof. Attahiru Jega, on Wednesday morning, declared  Maj. Gen. Muhammadu Buhari(retd.)‎ of the All Progressives Congress as the winner of the election.
The PDP through its agent at the National Collation Centre in Abuja on Wednesday, when the final result was declared, had refused to sign the result sheet despite its candidate, President Goodluck Jonathan, having earlier conceded defeat.
‎The agent of the PDP, Bello Fadile, who was in attendance when parties were being called upon to sign the result sheet, told journalists shortly after the result was declared that the party was not satisfied with the outcome of the election and had decided to challenge it at the election tribunal.
"Whether I sign it (the result sheet) or I don't sign it,  does not make any difference. It doesn't invalidate the result‎. When we go to court, then we can challenge the result," Fadile said.
When asked to confirm if the PDP will challenge the result at the presidential election petitions tribunal, Fadile added, "Sure! The party petitioned. Don't forget. So the party will follow through the petition. There are rules for this. The law is there.
"The result was declared on the 1st of April, I think. We will follow the due process. Like the president (Jonathan) said, 'If you have any grievances, follow due process and the due process in this instance is to go to the tribunal."

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COMMERCIAL activities in Ada George Road in the Obio/Akpor Local Government Area, Rivers State, came to a halt on Tuesday after a tanker laden with petrol fell on the road and went up in flames.
Though no life was lost, nine vehicles parked closed to the point of the incident were destroyed, while two buildings were gutted by the fire.

It was gathered that the tanker driver was speeding as he tried to negotiate a sharp bend along Ada George Road. The tanker was said to have fall on its side, injuring the assistant driver.
It was gathered that while the tanker was on the ground, some residents came out, but went back to watch the announcement of the presidential election results on their televisions. They were, however, forced to rush out eight minutes later when the tanker exploded and went up in flames.‎
Our correspondent further gathered that firefighters in about four different fire fighting vehicles came to douse the inferno to no avail. They, however, succeeded in forestalling further spread of the fire.
No fewer than nine private cars were said to have been damaged in the incident, while five others were saved by the residents.
It was further learnt that two buildings were gutted by the fire, forcing some occupants of one of the affected buildings ─ a mini one-storey building ─ to jump from its balcony to avoid being consumed by the inferno.

An auto repairer, Clement Esekhaigbe, whose workshop was close to the scene of the incident, said he was lucky that the firefighters came before the fire affected his workshop.
Esekhaigbe, said, "What would we have told the owners of the vehicles kept here for repairs? How would we have been able to pay for the numerous vehicles in our workshop?"

It was gathered that the four firefighting vehicles that raced to the place expended their water and left without being able to put out the fire.

Some officials of National Emergency Management Agency later came to the scene.

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